So, I did this thing over at Owlhaven where you write your love story along with some other bloggers. I pulled out all my old loveletters from WP, my journals, my trinkety crap and I went through it for days, listening to PJ Harvey and grumping at the toddler beast when she dared to interrupt my obsessive leap into the past.
I was filled with a sentimental joy at reliving all the sweet stuff, the love and the innocence. Then came the sadness and the regrets and as I worked through all this stuff I began to question WP about why he did this or that or what did he really feel.
The worst part was when I got to my journal from 1997, the year we got together again. The year we talked about marriage and he gave me the ring saying, how about a promise ring? Nohow about just a present? And here I was, 11 years later, a well loved woman, asking him- did you really love me? Were you in love with me? He has explained it all at least twice, brave soul and I understand, I do. Yet, even after all these years it hurt my feelings.
Then I began to read some of the other love stories that women had written and they talked candidly, gracefully about some of the ups and downs of their own love stories and I realized that just about every relationship has its hard times and even if things are great right now there will always be ups and downs. The thing that makes it all so lovely is that we chose to stick it out together. We had faith in each other and we saw through our fear to the love waiting for us.