Journal: My past life reading with Samantha

I had bits and pieces…I had incomplete images, synchronicities and signs…readings and insight from my sisters and now I have a reading that has helped to pull it all together…her name is Samantha and this is her Etsy store…Merriweather Technology for the Discerning Adventurer
(she makes some rather fantastic steampunk art and accessories). She very kindly allowed me to share the reading that I had with her. I asked for a past life reading but one about a particular life that has been seriously troubling me. I still wasn’t sure if it was Mary or another similar type of situation from that era.

S: Ok, I’ll deal the cards and take photos in a second here, a couple questions…you told me a little bit about your past life experience, so I feel pretty comfortable with that. Would you tell me the name you use when you think about yourself?
L: I’m comfortable and happy with Laura but my inside name is Marie. It’s my middle name.
S: So, the first thing I’m noticing is that this certainly is a young girl. Based on the central card, and the Empress. The center card, the one that sort of defines who this is, is the 6 of Cups. I strongly, strongly associate that with young, growing people. But also with this sense of nostalgia for the past, for lost innocence. There’s this childlike -wonder- about this person, but also a feeling of….I don’t know…like something never actually got off the ground? This card traditionally means the beginnings of plans, the start of new things but in this deck it has this weird overtone of “but….” So, with no other input, I feel like this is a young girl with a huge “but” in her life.
The second card is the house of Saturn, which is the house of barriers, restrictions, borders, and death.This is the Empress, reversed. There are a LOT of things going on here. This card strongly evokes a mother or nurturing female person that was NOT nurturing, that either actively harmed you, or needing nurturing herself. I think something like that went on in this life too, but more so. I don’t know. The feeling I get is an abusive mother, or boss or some woman that had authority over this girl. The Empress reversed is not a nice person to be around, she’s impatient, short, and tends to act without thinking, often aggressively. This is a huge barrier to this life (“this life” referring to the life I’m looking at). The one other big thing that keeps coming up is the inability to have children. I’m not sure where that comes in yet, but I feel like the person in this life really wanted a family, or to be part of a whole family unit.
The next card is Mars, the house of aggression, and power. It means what you fought for, and where you drew your personal power from. This is the Moon, reversed. You were very, very grounded in the here and now. There’s this sense of “this is what is, let’s damn well live it.” That fits with the age I’m seeing, too, because it’s young enough not to need to focus on the future. There’s an earthyness with this card, too, a sense that you were tied to things of this world. that’s where your personal power came from.
Hm. I have this feeling that she got out of her depth, so to speak, when she was outside her personal experience. The moon, upright, can mean uncertainty and doubt. I think there’s some of that in this reading. That her power was undermined when she was in situations she didn’t know how to handle and that went back to the huge “but” of the center card.
Next is Jupiter, the house of authority, and fortune. That is the 10 of Wands. She took the world on her shoulders. She worked, and worked a lot. This sort of confirms either the person you were talking about, or someone in a similar situation, frankly. I have the STRONG impression of working in a factory. Something with machines that are very, very loud. Having far too much responsibility for her age.
Ok, this one is going to sound weird, but does being around things that break make any sense to you? This card always makes me think of broken things lying on the ground.
At any rate, she was definately a worker, and more than that she took on full responsibility for things. I have a feeling of something like 12-14? in age. Old enough to be responsible, but young enough to be a child.
The next card is the Moon, house of dreams. This is the 3 of Pentacles. Huh. Ok. The dream is of acceptance. Being praised, given what she wanted because she ‘earned’ it, or was worthy of it. This is her approach to life in a lot of ways, I think, seeking approval for what she does. That ties back to the moon, for me, strong in things she knows how to do, because she knows she’s worthy of praise, but weak in new situations because she doesn’t know how good she is. I think this has something to do with romance too? Seeking the approval of someone she was with?
Yeah. This is tied up in trouble too.
The sense I have is that she -is- very young,but had to act or pretend to be older. She had a child’s sense of needing praise for self worth, but an adult’s sense of responsibility, which kind of made for a horrible combination.
The next card is in Venus, the house of love. This is both strange an interesting. I drew Justice. Ok, this is a weird card in the love placement. It’s….the guilty are punished so the innocent can move on. I don’t read it as “everyone gets what they deserve” so much as that people who have been wronged are able to rise above it? I don’t know. This feels sort of creepy to me, for some reason. Like her romantic experience wasn’t a good one. Like she felt like she was getting what she deserved, a little bit. Which is an uncomfortable feeling, especially knowing she was quite young. I feel like she had a really unbalanced sense of how a romantic relationship was supposed to play out and it led to bad things happening to her because she thought they were supposed to?
So the last card is the house of Mercury, which is the card of magic and the spiritual. It’s kind of all the extra sensory stuff that this person may or may not have been aware of. I drew the Chariot. She went through a major, significant change. Something that affected her spirit, or soul or whatever you personally believe in but it changed her, and made her different than she was going into this life. It can also mean a journey, in this case, a metaphoric one. She…..ok, so is it too off the wall to say she probably had a change in consciousness? Death or serious illness or injury that changed the way she perceived the world?
L: her will. thats the change then. she was murdered. and from what you are feeling, my next ‘thought’ is that she decided ‘no more’. no more of this crap in the next life.
S: heh, that’s SO the tone I get from this reading…”look at all this stupid stuff I did, and see how I am NOT going to keep doing it?” Very pre-teen feeling, but rebellious, like she’s got this sense of having grown up some. So, let me look at it overall, and we’ll draw the last card that’s the “Take home” card
I keep going back to the Empress. I feel like a mother-figure had some huge role in this that we’re missing. Like that was what started all of these negative spiraling patterns. She was amazingly strong, I think. Just young and got in out of her depth. I don’t have a time period lock, but sometime when kids worked in factories. The image of broken things lying on the ground keeps coming up too.
L: She worked in the pencil factory of atlanta…worked with metal sheeting and there was stuff lying around in these factories often. ok, so im really feeling like it was her. Mary. so many synchronicities. if you dont feel that, tell me because i dont want to jump to conclusions.
S: Hmmm. Ok, I -really- want to see what the last card says. It’s either a lesson you needed to take from this life, or a sort of confirmation of what we’ve been reading, usually. WOW. Ok. I drew the Sun. The mind awakened to a new revelation. Basically, the card that says “that thing you were thinking about? yes.” That card is fantastic. It’s basically my favorite happy card in the deck.All good things, you know?

This was an extremely powerful reading, we were both hopped up on energy afterward. I had been crying through nearly the whole thing. Letting myself feel intense sadness for Mary but also, owning the part she played in her own fate. I was freezing cold like I get sometimes during an intense reading and I felt that thing you get when you psychically connect with someone else. I don’t even remember what I did afterward but all I really wanted to do was go running though the woods like a half crazed deer. I know that I had anxiety fire shooting out from me as though I was shooting out rounds of fear and pain then it was just exhaustion. I haven’t had the mysterious and debilitating night/morning back pain since the reading…the healing power of past life knowledge experienced firsthand.

And now I am still processing. Resting. When I am ready I will move on the next path life I have to deal with.

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