|The Fool card of the World Spirit Tarot by Jessica Godino and Lauren O’Leary.|
I have been wandering and I have been lost. The firm footing of my identity, my Self has been shifting, forming and reforming. My art is reflecting this I think. I have been exploring new styles…embroidery, painting, texture. I am enchanted with grey and the soft heathered colors of early morning…pinks, greens, soft browns. Little animals, trees, and flowers populate my imagination, my inner landscape. I am changing and on a good day, it is intoxicating. On a bad day, I feel like I’m falling on my ass.
I worry that my art isn’t any good…or worse, that it is mediocre. I am afraid of failure, even though I know there is really no such things as failure in the learning process if you just keep trying and learning.
If I’m honest here, I want to sell my art…I want to establish myself as an artist locally and online. So, what are my goals? Where am I going with my art? Will people buy my art? Will people like it? What will I do next? These are questions that are mixed up with emotions…insecurity, vulnerability and my own courage to examine them and express them. So, I am wandering right now…I am stepping off that roof without looking down and hopefully the birds and the crows will help me out, give me a lift so I don’t fall flat. I embrace the journey and the adventure.