Journal: Past Life Dream March 2013

I woke up this morning with a bruised feeling over my chest, the heart chakra kind (I get this feeling sometimes related to love/pain issues). The full moon big and round and bright over the tree tops.
Last night I dreamed a past life. The meaning and the emotions were so clear…some of the details are not. I was a young girl, tribal. in english school. I was so small. I was sassy. like super sassy. dark hair, prominent upper jaw/muzzle. I was the class clown sort of, cracking the other kids up. being bratty and cute. I remember the children in their desks, sitting there among them. their shirts worn soft. the fabric moved. everything was white or cream, tan.mostly a worn through denimy blue. very light blue.
I was sitting in the middle of the classroom, near the front. The children around me wore natural colors, fabric that moved easily. fabric that was worn through and thin, mostly a pale denim blue. The sunlight came through the windows, lighting up the motes and dust that floated in the air, casting a softness over the backs and shoulders of my classmates.
This was a happy moment of sass and spirit in a world that was already wearing her down. she was maybe 8 years old. and you could already see the exhaustion at the corners of her eyes. Skip forward and she is older. She has a huge chestnut horse that is her companion, her life force, her only reason for living and they are in a flood and he drowns.
and my sorrow as the dreamer is almost unbearable.
skip forward again and she is an old woman but really she is only 50 or 60. life has worn her down hard and she looks terrible. a younger man has invited her to a meeting, like at the VA or a history type meeting as she comes through the door he greets her and I can see how terrible she looks. but she smiles and for a second you can see her old sass. her teeth. she has a such a lovely smilefor a second then its gone and her old self is gone.
skip to me. I am riding in teh car with my sister and family and we are going to visit a friend of hers. and Jock is with us and he has that same feeling as the chestnut in the dream of hte woman. my feelings toward him in the dream feel the same. i let him loose at the the guys’ house and im worried the whole time that he is going to leave me. and in the dream i realize why. i call him to me. ask him to get in the van and he is happy there. and i wake up.

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