I grew up on a horse farm, living and breathing horses…everything about them was everything I ever wanted to be. As a grownup I went for years without their beauty and their grace but now that I have a horse in my life again, I experienced a wonderful soul retrieval…a part of my soul coming back to me.
Reclaiming horses back into my life, working with my beautiful, beloved Prince…has been an act of soul retrieval. I have read about this phenomenon and wondered what it would feel like, but there was no question when it happened. I just knew from the feeling of wholeness…the feeling that I had reclaimed with open arms a vital part of my being.
This is a painting that I gave to Prince’s former owner.
We adopted a dog from the shelter in town on Monday. He is just the sweetest thing…our little Princess Bonnie was having a hard time adjusting to another dog in the house. I reassured her that she will always be our baby princess and not to worry and didn’t she remember when she first came home from the shelter? Her great and overwhelming relief to be loved by someone and to have a home…then an equally great fear that it would be taken away from her again? It is an adjustment period as he feels these great emotions washing over him. He will need to be very close to us for a while and he will explore, test boundaries, driven by a need to learn about his new home but also to definitively make it his own, so that hopefully he will never be homeless again. Bonnie understood then and she has been easier on him. All of our dogs over the years have felt this process, the cats too. We fostered pets for many years after we moved out here and maybe that’s what made it so hard for me…I knew I was doing good work, the kind of work that changes lives but every time I let one of them go, some of my heart went with them…worrying that their new owners wouldn’t quite understand what they had gone through, that they might be dumped again. If I were stronger I would do it again, foster dogs and cats…pull them from the shelter….one life among many desperate for love and belonging.
Pumpkin muffins are my favorite thing to make for the fall. Mabon is tomorrow…a time for balance and giving thanks. I use the Fanny Farmer recipe but with more pumpkin and less oil.
This is our Lughnasadh bread just a week late. I forgot what a pain it is to bake bread from scratch but oh man, is it worth it.
We celebrate the first harvest sabbat Lughnasadh with corn dollies and cinnamon buns. I am thankful to have been able to visit with family and to now be home where the soft scent of cinnamon is in the air.
I was maybe 19 years old when I first saw this book. A group of us had decided to spend the night out at the lake. I was feeling out of place and insecure that night, sitting alone on the dock. My friend Lara came up to me, she was older than me, was from the same area but had been out traveling around , being her beautiful gypsy self. She sat down next to me and opened up her bag. She took out this book and a special pouch. The pouch had a stone in it, smokey quartz, beautiful and dark in the moonlight. She read me a passage from this book, her voice soft and tender in the night. And although we lost touch, I have never forgotten her. She showed me kindness and compassion and reminded me that we are all children of the Goddess, united in Love.
I have always lived with animals. I grew up in a family who didn’t really draw a line between animal and human because well, there isn’t one. They are a significant part of my life and my spirituality. As a child, I grew up with a goat who snuggled with me on the couch, horses who occupied my days and my dreams, dogs and cats who understood me in a way that no human ever could. My mother showed me how to help those in need and when you needed to let go. We are stewards of the animals who come into our care. It is our honor and blessing to care for them and we do the best we can. When you have a lot of animals as we have, there is a lot of messes, a lot of love and sometimes, a lot of death. In the past two months we have lost three elderly dogs and today, one elderly kitty, the matriarch of our cat tribe. Padma, our dearest Padma left this earth in body but not in spirit. She is very special to us and we will all miss her. She took such good care of all of us. Once again I am so grateful for our wonderful vet, Dr. Linda Baxter at Lakeview Animal Hospital.